Crooked and Overflowing
︎ Em Best ︎

I want to repel you. I want to disgust you.
What do you see when you look at me? I see a body violated.
I see skin too soft, crooked and overflowing.
You will see what I tell you to see. Look at me, don’t look at me.
Stop fucking looking at me.
Leave me alone.

Do you see it too? Why don’t you hook a finger in my mouth,
climb down my tongue.
You could abseil down my oesophagus and look inside my ribs.
Put your hands inside my beating heart, taste my blood.
You can break my bones from the inside, if you want, you can suck out the marrow.
Do anything you want, I don’t care, just don’t look at me.
No, don’t leave, I want you to stay.
Is there something you don’t like?
I built this body just for you.
It’s all yours, if you want it.
You can touch it if you like,
I know you want to.
Everybody wants to.

Don’t look at me, I’m bored of this.
I don’t want you to look at me anymore.
I want to rinse my skin clean and start again.
Place me under your favourite tree, watch me rot, until I can fit inside your hand.
I want to be so small that you can’t see me anymore.
I’ll fit through the cracks in the floor, burrow myself down deep into the earth.
I’ll build myself a house with all the worms. I
’ll make sure you’ll never look at me again.  

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